mundane being

big nose

2010-05-02T00:30:00.001-07:00

Bedong's kinda quiet these days...

almost submission.

2010-04-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

It's weird how work can get things off your mind, and once that's over, all the things come rushing in.. all the whys, why nots, what happened. hows, what ifs.

It is intriguing how simple it seems to be now, (or then again, perhaps it's only because complications have not set) compared to what used to.

and yea, it is measured by the quantity of laughters, not the quantity of sorrows.

i await

2010-03-26T11:22:00.001-07:00

the day that I could reach a level of contentment. of knowing what i am, what I want to be and what i will be.

I'm really disappointed in you.

2010-03-11T18:02:00.000-08:00

But I may need to thank you instead. Because that will make me forget about all the happy and sad moments we shared. After that conversation, I'm all the more convinced that I could never have spent the rest of my life with you. I scoff at the thought now. How could I ever think that we could.

On the basis of our past relationship, I give a mere request for you to consider my feelings when you thrash me with all your emotions. And you fervently refused to do it, accusing me of trying to change you. You baffle me with your accusations, your narrow mind, your selfishness. Most of all, I'm baffled by your insensitivity. Your insensitivity to your actions and even to people who care for you.

I've always believed in you, and I always will. We're adults now, there's no need for hate. Stop telling me to hate you. It disgusts me. Just let me graciously forget about our past.

bleah.

2010-02-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

tap runs lose. it's that time of the year again. happens 4 times a year, many more times after this yr. for the rest of my life.

"memories"

2010-01-29T18:32:00.000-08:00

such a seemingly harmless word.
such a fallacy.
how incredibly wounding.

green dog

2010-01-21T08:58:00.001-08:00

i don't want to see bedong anymore. hurts so bad.

Carnation

2009-07-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

for mum.

Phobe in Wonderland..

2009-07-24T11:08:00.001-07:00

" At certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are. Especially for every thing that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself, "But I am this person." And in that statement, there will be a kind of love. "

Love this movie. To me, it's the best I've ever watched.
I think all of us are "Phoebes" in our own little worlds. We weren't crafted to be the same as others. We are individuals, special in our own ways.

The society gives us each a box filled with expectations. We hold these identical boxes. We do not want to deviate away from the box.

but why not.

Travelog #1

2009-05-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

TAIWAN

My first trip to Taiwan left me such a great impression of the country. I really wouldn't mind staying there. (Hong Kong proved to be quite a contrast.)

OMG!!!!!! ok let me digress. this is eerie. Here I am sitting at this wonderful cafe (www.brunch-club.org) waiting for my sister to knock-off while I finally blog about my Taiwan trip. I wrote the first word "TAIWAN".. and the cd player that has been playing norah jones, green day the past 1 hour. suddenly belted a "是谁。。。。。“ from 蔡琴‘s 被遺忘的时光 - the main reason why I went to Taiwan this time was to accompany my mum watch two consecutive nights of 蔡琴‘s concert. more about that later...

or perhaps I should start with the concert. I was pretty astounded that the organizers actually knew my parents and I also got to meet fellow Cai Qin fans the next few days. They are amazing people. Who would have thought I'd be talking to Cai Qin fans. Obviously Cai Qin doesn't belong to my range of singers I'd like to listen to.

We had supper after the last concert - it was, to me, a real interesting combination of people dining in a land foreign to any one of us. - 1. Helen, a Beijing resident working in the media industry currently attached to a french guy, 2. Stephanie, a native Hawaiian married to a Singaporean (she such a GREAT character) 3. My parents - Indonesians who migrated to Singapore and 4. Me. A true blue Singaporean with Indonesian blood. heh. we have extremely diverse linguistic abilities, worked and studied in very diverse industries and contexts and are exposed to very different cultures. The 5 of us sitting at a tea house in Taiwan at 1am in the morning- it seemed almost surreal. All of us were brought together by, well, Cai Qin.
To me, fans being fans, despite their importance in determining an artiste's career, would always be in my opinion, under respected. I can only hope that my mum, innocent as she can be, in her fervent pursuit for anything Cai Qin, would not be disappointed one day.

Anyway, it was surprisingly great fun talking to the fellow Cai Qin fans. Hope that I'd get to meet them again. (although I'm really not that enthusiastic for another session of Cai Qin overdose.)

The rest of Taiwan was equally good. Taiwan seems to me like an in-between of Japan and Hong Kong. Love the service, the VERY friendly people. love the vibrancy, the night-life, the good mix of crowded, vibrant places and relaxing quiet towns. Haha. I'm all praise for Taiwan.

Pictures may speak better than my continuous,unstructured babbling.

People here have really interesting tastes for their pets.

The big and majestic..

The people, the people, and... the people.

more people..

well in short. I really like Taiwan.

The butterfly's arrival

2008-08-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

On Chinese New Year this year... we had a visitor in the house.

When you have nothing to do at work...

2008-07-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

..indulge in doodling.

Goodbye...

2008-07-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

"It's now a fond memory..."

Perfection

2008-06-24T08:28:00.000-07:00

is of course never reached.

The picture seems almost perfect to me. Probably because it was a perfect day when I took the shot... or so it seems..

It was raining most of the days I was in Alaska, so this day was special. It was the only time the sun came out.

Back home, at work, you wonder why some people just can't be happier. I've been meeting some grouchy and grumpy people. It makes me feel like brutally forcing their cheeks up and make them smile.

Butterfly kisses, to my daddy.

2008-04-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

Home..

2008-03-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

On a gloomy Sunday afternoon, at least the fishes made me happy.

so far away

2008-02-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

always. so. far. away.
2.5.8.6 kilometres away if you didn't realize.

pho·bi·a

2008-01-31T08:42:00.000-08:00

a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

let me repeat. ... FEAR... ACTIVITY... DESIRE TO AVOID.
If one is soaked within this circumstance and did not have the choice to avoid, perhaps he would grow to overcome his phobia.

If one who is already soaked within this activity, and has the ability to get out of it but chooses not to, it is because he thinks that at least this dreadful experience is known. Getting out of it is as good as leaping into the unknown.

Such a coward.

Did I mention that I hate designing?

statement.

2008-01-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

I want to sleep. and sleep. and sleep. and sleep. and sleep.
if i wake up... no i don't want to wake up.

28th.

2007-12-28T03:56:00.000-08:00

I don't wish to hurt anyone.
I don't know why that is so hard.

Blessed..

2007-12-06T08:27:00.000-08:00

..aren't I?

40 roses and one BIG sunflower for my 2oth birthday.

October

2007-10-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

You bought me roses today...
=)

So life's like that.

2007-10-21T22:54:00.001-07:00

Maybe it is true that you can't have everything you want in life. You get some, you lose some. Not everything in life is SUPPOSED to be right. No one said everything is SUPPOSED to go the way you want it to. If that is the case then the world is tearless; but it isn't.

And now I'm pretty much certain that life isn't that simple. ok. Perhaps life is. Just that those little fragments that make up life just aren't that easy to deal with. And sometimes, when these little things weigh down on you all at the same time, you start to get frustrated with "life". But then again, who can blame all these little things that are happenning. Seriously, there are people out there with scarier problems to deal with. What's yours compared to theirs?

I don't actually know the point of this entry. I'm feeling pretty angry, not angry with "life". but with myself, and others, but pretty much with myself. Clinging on to the only thing that is making me really happy all these while.

Feels like home, Chantel Kreviazuk

2007-10-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Somdethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

slowness.

2007-10-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Doing a project that analyzes "slowness" - an attempt to break free from our hectic lives. How ironic- to design a building that promotes the appreciation of "slowness", and be frantically rushing for submission every week.

I've never liked driving home alone myself in the night. Talk about mechanical speed. It's 11pm. There's probably not much cars left on the roads. Your brain is pre-registered to respond mechanically to the traffic. And yet, so much is going on in your mind. All the thoughts - things that happened, things that happen, things that are happenning... in school, at home, in our lives.

living..

2007-09-28T22:50:00.000-07:00
as a blacklist.

Wishes

2007-08-11T22:43:00.000-07:00

So many wishes...
As we go about our daily routines, somewhere in our minds and our hearts, we all have a certain wish etched within, a certain hope for something.. Maybe nothing big. Perhaps a very simple wish.. Still a wish.

I wished too.

Written by a little kid..

awwwwww.
我也希望..

Immersed.

2007-07-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, perhaps life is not as simple as I would like it to be..

But let's just appreciate what is simple...

Merle Shain says..

2007-07-07T12:19:00.000-07:00
Friends are like windows through which you see out into the world and back into yourself... If you don't have friends you see much less than you otherwise might.

How true.

Muahaha.

2007-06-28T02:33:00.000-07:00
Am not gonna work against those principles I strongly believed in.
It's not hard to be happy =P

Expect less, embrace more.

2007-06-22T09:01:00.000-07:00
It is not an equation. Happiness is not a result of that. It is only a possibility.

However much less you expect, however much more you embrace, you'd still feel terrible knowing that you may have made someone's day bad.

How complicated can friendships get.

Right.

2007-06-12T09:34:00.000-07:00
Expect less. Embrace more.
Maybe then we'd all live a happy life.

Draw a line.

2007-06-08T10:41:00.000-07:00
The irrational seeks for adventure. Satisfying. Yet, it usually ends.
The rational seeks for logic. Not entirely fulfilling. Yet, it stays.

Does it?

The little things in life..

2007-06-04T09:35:00.000-07:00
...that make your life as it is
...that make you who you are.

I have no idea why I did this. But it was fun.

Tornado

2007-05-26T08:58:00.000-07:00
Haven't seen a tornado in my life. These pictures were taken from my room...

Images

2007-05-24T00:45:00.000-07:00
Architecture is created by the images that exist in our minds. These images are accompanied by unique sensations, which as a result, create "impressions"

I was reading Peter Zumthor's Thinking Architecture a few days ago. This is much more worth a read compared to Alain de Botton's Architecture for Happiness. In his book, Peter Zumthor described his memories of spatial experiences that he had, of which contained certain essences that seemed to have struck a chord within.

As I was reading the book, I thought about the images that have remained prominent in my mind. I can't describe as welll as the book can but well, worth a try.

1. Ryokan at Beppu, Japan.

This was heavenly. haha. Within the little room of our ryokan was a bathroom that contains a small wooden bathtub next to a glassless window. It was 5 am in the morning... I soaked myself in the steaming spring water as the cool wind brushed across my face. (haha) I peered out of the opening and that was what I saw. The crazily vast sea that except for the single fisherman's boat, had nothing else in sight. You could barely see the horizon. And the occasional seagulls that fly past the opening accentuate the experience.

I contemplated about whether to put in pictures because pictures can only tell this much. A representation faces the risk of limiting the imagination. I think for this, it already did. But weeeelll.

2. Nile River, Egypt

This, is a far contrast to the above experience. It was taken in Egypt, from our cruise along the Nile river. I was stumped by the scene. We were relaxing on the deck of the ship when we heared shouts coming from the waters. These locals.. were trying to sell their merchandise to the tourists on board our ship, and the only way they could do that, is to fling the goods wrapped in plastic bags, three storeys up onto the deck of the ship, hoping we would catch them, exchange cash for goods and throw it back down. And so that was what they did for a good thirty minutes - throwing plastic bags of goods up, hoping we'd purchase their merchandise. Only problem is that not many of us wanted to buy their stuff; the tourists were plainly bewildered, so most of us were taking pictures of them.

And it was so ironic, and very depressing, to see them looking like they were alomst begging us to buy the goods, while we could not do much to alleviate their problem. Even if we've bought anything from any of them, they'd still be doing this everyday; earning their incomes almost at the mercy of the better-off. I thought it was almost cruel.

These are prominent images because months after the trips, the images still resonate, and my feelings for that particular experience still retain. These are images that touch, that struck a chord.

Designs. that were inspired. and inspire.

2007-05-18T12:06:00.000-07:00
I was researching for some interior design ideas on the net, and I came across tons of quirky images.. These crazy design ideas... real smart.

Pebbles?

Nope! Depending on their shapes and sizes.. These pebbles are essentially cushions and sofas by They come in three materials I think. Wool, neoprene and polar fleece.
Livingstones by Smarin design.

Similarly...

20" Modular Pillow
Designed by Galya Rosenfeld...

I really love the irony that made the designs click... the attempt to tweak our overly rationalized brains.

Colours

2007-05-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

create sensibility

Pure enjoyment.

2007-05-11T08:28:00.000-07:00
I cycled to east coast today... I regret not bringing my camera. Don't under estimate east coast. It's really nice. Especially at sunset. Even if you can't see the sun...haha.
I'll bring my camera next time... Next tuesday. When waffles go half price at gelare!

I was reading a book by David Prakel, regarding composition in photography... and I realize how similar taking a picture is, to painting or to creating architecture. Essentially, they involve the design of a space. ok. that sounds so so so cliche.
Anyway, I'm working on something. A graffiti kinda thing. It didn't turn out nice the first time.. so I'm still trying.. which explains why I haven't updated my blog for so long..

oh well. I'll try do it tonight.
And yes; I'm enjoying my holidays.

Freedom..

2007-04-29T03:25:00.000-07:00

Ever felt trapped? I did.

I doodled this after watching Wildhogs. For some reason, this issue about "Freedom" seems to be surfacing alot in my life these few weeks. I guess people view "freedom" very differently, or perhaps there are just too many aspects to this one word. Then again, I don't think many of us ever really thought about what freedom is...have we?

I've realized that there is a super strong correlation between freedom and what we look for in life. So if you don't know what you WANT, you woudln't even realize the existance of freedom. Because basically you're doing what you need to do, and there is nothing (no WANTS) that would make you want to break out of the cycle. Maybe it's a good thing, but then again, would you be really happy? Or are you just satisfied?

What do we want?? Are we in university because we want to? Or have our minds been moulded by this rigid educational structure that we've become so accustomed to?

Ok. Am I making sense, or am I just rambling a bunch of understatements??

Anyway, by posting this doodle, I think I've added on to this "negativity" thing that my dear sister claims is lurking around in my blog. And that's exactly what I don't want to have in this blog - NEGATIVITY. haha. The reason I set up a new blog, and not reuse the old one is because I think I need a new space to express my thoughts. (yet i'm quite afraid to bore you readers.) I've gotta admit that my old blog was anything but positive. I read through every single post on my blog and I have no idea why I spent so much time lamenting on how bad life is. I find it really ridiculous now.

Maybe it's architecture, maybe it's the people and events around me, I think it's not hard to lead a happy life. I don't mean to say that we're not entitled to feel sad or anything. But welll, distress is really relative.

I don't know what I Want yet. I know that I wasn't happy in the past, yet I didn't have the courage to step out of it. Now that I have, I shall continue thinking about what I would really Want. well. More about this next time..

Perhaps I should make a proper introduction to my so called blog.

2007-04-28T11:19:00.000-07:00
I named this so-called blog "mundane being", because well. I guess most of us.. are ordinary people living ordinary lives. But within our own ordinary selves, we meet extraoridnary people, things and places, some of which consciously or not so consciously create an impact on our lives.
Objects and Spaces gain their meanings and identities upon our interactions and encounters with them.. In exchange, we gain experience and memories!

In any case, I guess I'd just like to share some of my experiences. Through photographs and probably my doodlings!

The series of Spain pictures, were taken during the December holidays in 2006; it was free and easy and we basically travelled around Barcelona and its suburbs. Well it was, like any holiday, a great experience, from planning to navigating and gawking and the beautiful scenery and architecture.

Welll, I'm still waiting to get hold of a better camera... So much to learn about photography and i'm yearningggg to take more pictures!

Gaudi

2007-04-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

Art Nouveau, Gaudi Style.

Gaudi made Barcelona really beautiful.

Spain

2007-04-26T08:26:00.000-07:00
As if the only transience is Man.
The lovely morning sun...

Childhood memories - Climb to the peak.. And gaze at the world below.

Flower Exhibition at Sentosa

2007-04-24T06:53:00.000-07:00
Scent..

What makes life so beautiful?